The stereotype of a “BFF” is strong in our society. The status of “just friends” is usually used to refer to a special person in their life. People also use the word acquaintances to describe a person who is far enough away mentally, but closer than a stranger.
So What Does It Mean?
In our day and age it seems that the majority of the population only has one BFF. The title of best friends forever falls to most likely the one they spend the most time with, or the one they have the most in common with, or the one who, whatever weird thing you say, they always seem to understand or relate to it. Friendships can be messy and complicated, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that communication is the key to a happy, healthy relationship with anyone. Being a friend to someone, first of all, doesn’t mean having to be best friends; it might mean just being friendly and kind, like asking how their day was, or even just asking what their name is. It’s that simple.
If your best friend space is full, it’s likely that your other friends will involuntarily move to 2nd, 3rd, or 4th place. Nothing is wrong with having a friend spectrum; it’s more about how you act around them. We are all human, and we all make mistakes, and we should all give each other grace, but we should show the love of Christ to everyone and anyone we see. That could be as small as a warm smile.
What Makes a Good Friend?
If you are looking for a list to see if your friend matches it, then here it is:
Good listener
Kind
Caring
Patient
Honest
Trustworthy
Open (This is a tricky one, but it is really hard to even start or continue being friends with someone who doesn’t reciprocate it.)
Vulnerable
Mature
Funny (optional)
Compassionate
The list goes on and on, but I think you get the picture. A good friend doesn’t mean you dump all your woes on them, and vent about your day or week. It means loving each other, sometimes keeping eachother accountable, and being encouraging. I am still working on how to properly communicate with people, sometimes it’s really hard and you wonder if you said the wrong thing. Let me tell you something I learned a while ago; if you think you said the wrong thing it’s OK, the person you talked to either understood what you meant, wasn’t really listening, or forgot about it already. We as humans can easily forget trivial things such as conversation details to a friend or acquaintance. So don’t stress out about little mistakes you might have said or did, life’s too short to worry about the past.
“When thinking about life, remember this: no amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.”
Thanks for reading and please spread the word,
Le Stylo
